A Chance At Glory Part 1

A Chance At Glory
by Alfred Hopps (The Beer Olympics Reporter)

At an event that shines with so much glory and prestige it would seem that nothing could go wrong. Standing as a tribute to all things great, the tragic can, at times, go overlooked. While The Beer Olympics and its competitors are the icon’s of perseverance and dedication. Sometimes though we forget just how much it takes to get here. Michael, better known to his fans as E.L.L.I.S. 3000, has made the ultimate sacrifice in being here. During the opening weekend, E.L.L.I.S. 3000 was faced with the toughest moment of his career. Saturday, E.L.L.I.S. 3000’s tonsils gave out in what has become one of the great travesty’s of The Beer Olympics.

On Monday morning E.L.L.I.S. 3000 went in for an emergency Tonsillectomy. A surgery that will remove the now lame tonsil’s in order to give him his best chance of survival. This freak accident has been linked to his rigorous training methods, ones that would kill normal men, or to a lifelong battle with ear infections. The cause, however, has not been determined.

When asked about chances of full recovery in time for the rest of the Olympics, his doctors were hopeful, “We think with some much needed rest and a little support from his team and Coach, E.L.L.I.S. 3000 should have the chance to get back in shape.” He is lucky, an injury like this has been known to ruin careers.

I sat down with E.L.L.I.S. 3000 to discuss his situation, and his hopes of someday returning to the field.


-Alfred Hopps: This injury is by far the worst thing we have ever seen happen at The Beer Olympics. Can you tell us what you have done to keep yourself in the game?

-E.L.L.I.S.3000: I agree this injury is quite tragic - nothing I was expecting coming into this year's Olympics. I had some high hopes to set some personal records and even go for gold in a few events. But right now, I'm just getting some rest and hoping for a speedy recovery. In my down time, I've been working with my coach and have been preparing some rehabilitation drinking routines and I'm hoping to come back stronger than ever, soon.

-Alfred Hopps: So would it be safe to say that this little misstep doesn't worry you?

-E.L.L.I.S.3000: The doctors say I could be out longer than expected but I've always been quite resilient and quick to recover. So, no I'm not worried at all right now.

-Alfred Hopps: It seems like you are in good spirits, despite all of what has happened to you. Is there someone, something that you look to for inspiration?

-E.L.L.I.S.3000: Hold on one second, my mother just came home with some codine. (pauses to take some meds) Yea I would say that I can always look two whoah manf thiss druug isth preety quik. I theenk eye neeeeeed to sit down fer a witle bitttttt...

-Alfred Hopps: Michael?... Michael? Are you there? Michael?!...

-E.L.L.I.S.3000: (No response)

-Alfred Hopps: I’m taking my lunch break... we’ll resume when Michael wakes up...


-----PART 2 of this amazing story will continue later in the week-----